What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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