I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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