And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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