remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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