I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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