she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
