whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
