You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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