pedialite and red bull = repair kit
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
