The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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