when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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