is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
