Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
