i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
