Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
