Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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