It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
