I cut my penus on the lid.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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