this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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