okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
