as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
