I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
