Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
