She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
