good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
