Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
