My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
