Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
