can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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