We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize