I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
