two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
