He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
did i just pee glitter
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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