I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
