Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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