some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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