I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
