Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
