I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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