Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
