I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
