I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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