Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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