dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
