Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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