New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
