You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
