This girl is more easily done than said...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This is classic penis vs brain.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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