come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize