oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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