wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
