its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
