I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
