As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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