I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
