No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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