If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
