I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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