I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
