How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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