she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
